6 months

“Are you sure?”
He nodded.
“Really, really sure? No way there’s a mistake?”
His cold fingers patted the back of my hand. “I’m sorry. There’s no mistake.” With his head down, he left the room.
Slowly, I got up from the examining table. I grabbed my shirt and put it on. Damn, inside out. I tried again. This time my arms got stuck in the sleeves.
The flood gates opened.
Falling into the closest chair, the tears fell from my eyes like a torrential downpour. I couldn’t stop myself. I just bawled.

Six months, I thought. Six months. What in the world am I going to do?

And that’s when it hit me.

Six months. Just six months. I had better get busy.

Standing up from the chair my mind starting racing. So many things to do. So many places to see. So many people to love.
I rushed from the cold, sterile office out into the warmth of the summer sun.
Tilting my head towards the heat, I closed my eyes and thanked the heavens for the opportunity to know my fate. To know how much time I had.

I had to make a list.

First stop, the bank. I closed all my accounts, took out all my money and liqudated all my assets. Ok, so in reality, I didn’t have any assets, but at least I wasn’t broke, either.
Next stop, the travel agency. A three month cruise around the world for me and my husband, please. Yes, we need to leave immediately. Yes, I want first class. Yes, I realize it’ll cost me.
Back home, I start making calls, sending emails. Gonna throw the biggest party the world has ever seen. I figure once I get back from the travels, I’ll spend time with the rest of my family and friends. Three months is probably enough for everyone. And then, right before I go, the party of the century.

I couldn’t wait. Wait a minute, was I really enjoying this? Was I really finally “living”? Had it taken the promise of death to realize what was important?

Sadly enough – Yes.

I realized that my life had been a regurgitation of daily habits, common experiences, and a comfort zone so invisible, not even God could see it. But now, now I intended to live. I planned to enjoy my days, to love openly and to have fun.

And that’s when it happened.
In mourning for my previous life, I cried.
Sad that I only had six months to live.